![]() This movie is a cash grab of the worst sort. And that’s really it in terms of Pirates 4’s positive qualities. Now, the thing still feels about 20 minutes too long, but at least it doesn’t feel like it’s an hour too long (or more honestly, 3 hours too long) like the last two movies. There is one positive thing to be said about Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: it’s the shortest film of the series. I wish I could turn the clock back to 2003 and say it’s surprisingly good, but sadly this series jumped the shark about two movies ago. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone over the age of 12 who actually likes the sequels, but they did bring in about a billion dollars worldwide each. Two almost incompressible 3 hour long sequels followed. When the film was released people would say in almost disbelief, “you know, that Pirates Of The Caribbean movie was really good.” Then the producers got greedy and tried to manufacture a trilogy. Sure, the plot revolved around an almost impossibly bland romance between Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley, but at least it worked. Johnny Depp brought a batshit insane quality to his Keith Richards pirate, the action was lovably over-the-top, and Geoffrey Rush provided the necessary scenery chewing as the villain. Then somehow it ended up being entertaining. We went into the theater knowing it was a movie based on a Disneyland ride and had the considerably lowered expectations that kind of product-driven filmmaking demands. The first film was surprisingly good, just in that it was watchable at all. It really is a shame that Pirates Of The Caribbean became a franchise rather than just a one-off blockbuster.
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